I'll Never Break Your Heart
by Cyhyr
Summary: I'll sit outside that practice room and love him silently. That's what I always thought I'd have to do. 'He's not gay' I tell myself. Then, I bump into him. Literally. Axel POV. AkuRoku. AU. oneshot.


"_I'll never break your heart_

_I'll never make you cry_

_I'd rather die than live without you_

_I'll give you all of me, honey, that's no lie."_

I'll Never Break Your Heart

He's not mine. Not yet. But, when I'm standing next to the door that separates the real world and _his _real world, and I can hear how his fingers ease the piano into singing melody and harmony at the same time- I like to pretend that he knows I exist and that he's playing for me and me alone.

Up and down each scale in order. I know he starts at middle C, then works up and down each major scale as it comes: C, C-sharp, D, D-sharp, E, F, F-sharp, G, G-sharp, A, A-sharp, B, then a final C scale again. Back to middle C, going down in minor scales the same way. After that, he goes to the lowest key on the piano and plays chromatic all the way up the piano and it sounds just like someone sliding _up_ instead of down a slope.

After that, it's a short break while he gets out music and then a short warm-up piece to relax his hands. I know when he plays this one piece that he plays a lot, he closes his eyes and still doesn't make a mistake- I saw him through the window of the practice room a few times. Warm-ups done, another short stop while he spreads out the music on the stand, then he begins to play.

Sometimes it's a slow piece, soft and mournful and it makes me want to cry because it's like a funeral of some abused kid. I heard somewhere that piano is only about technique, making your fingers go where they have to go and how hard you press down on the keys. Those people should be forced to listen to Roxas when he plays. Their minds would be changed within the first measure- you can _feel_ the emotion in the songs he plays and how he plays them.

What amazes me is how emotionless he seems during school and then, after school in his practice time- it's like _his_ time to cry or laugh or smile or pout.

Like right now, he's in there, screaming. The piano is almost on the edge of being abused because he's hitting the keys so hard. It still sounds musical, somehow. It's just supposed to be a loud song, I'm guessing; or maybe, it's his take on the piece.

I slide down the wall and take my homework out of my bag and start on math. I find it easiest to focus on math while listening to Roxas play, so I try to get it all done in the hour he takes to practice. I don't know why, but math just seems easier with music playing- but it has to be Roxas. Once, I went out and bought a CD with classical pieces and shit, thinking that the piano was the thing, but it wasn't.

Roxas' music makes everything sensible again- at least to me.

I should probably ask him someday if I could record his playing… like, maybe if I explained my position, I could carry a little bit of him everywhere with me. Not only that, but it'd get him to notice me. That'd be so cool…

He's going into another song and I start another problem. Stupid triangles, they've always been trouble for me. Just, everything about them just goes right over my head. But, that's what's cool about listening to Roxas: Everything stays where I can see them. I understand this stuff when I'm right here.

I finish my math homework; he finishes another song. Three-thirty. I've got another twenty-five minutes before I have to pack up and leave, so he doesn't notice me. Usually (even though it's easier than without him) it takes me the whole fifty-five minutes to do the math work, and I'm very proud of myself for getting it done in a half-hour- especially triangles. I decide to take a stab at the Chemistry homework- my best subject, but it's better to get it done now then later.

He must be thinking of something good that's happened now. The song he's playing is light, happy, and it makes me smile just thinking of how he must be cheerful now. I know from personal experience that it's hard to artistically portray happiness when you're not happy (poetry class, no you may not ask- I leave it at that). I wonder what could have made him so happy, but turn back to my "Electronegativity and Polar Bonds" work.

That's finished quickly, and I find I have five minutes to just sit and listen. He's sad again, and we're at the funeral of the abused kid. I think I might start crying if I keep here. Packing up early sounds good, actually- I stuff the chem book back in my bag, along with my reference tables and homework folder. I tuck my pen back behind my ear and stand up, still leaning against the wall. I close my eyes and listen a bit longer.

The song ends and I realize that I've been too long- I might not be able to get out of the school with out him seeing me now. Shit. I run through the door next to me to get out of the music wing quickly, my bag flung haphazardly over my shoulder.

* * *

Morning comes, and I throw on clothes in a hurried attempt to get out of the house before my brother wakes up and bitches at me for being loud in the mornings. I grab my bag and get out of our apartment, closing the door softly behind me. It's only Seven-thirty, and even if I walk as slowly as physically possible, I'll still get to school with at least ten minutes to spare. 

I hum some of the songs that Roxas was playing while I walk; they get stuck in my head pretty easily. The happy song is the one that I'm humming as I walk into the school, passing all the other students as I try to get to my locker.

…Honestly, some people can just be asses when they're with their friends- it reminds me of how grateful I am that I don't have friends here to _be_ fake around. I turn the corner into the hallway that my locker is located in, and imediately run into someone.

Someone with blonde hair, blue eyes, and pianist fingers.

Oh shit.

His books are all over the floor and he's looking up at me with that emotionless look in his eyes. I know my eyes can't give that same emotionlessness, because as soon as it happens, I gasp. "Oh, shit, I'm sorry!" I go down and help him while he's picking up his books and catch his gaze a few times while handing him his books.

"It's okay, I wasn't really paying much attention to where I was going, either," Roxas says to me, flashing a ghost of a smile at me. _He just almost smiled at me!!!_ I feel like such a girl, ready to squee and everything 'cause he's _talking_ to me.

He stands up and I hand him the last book I had in my hand that was his and he thanks me and passes by me. I sigh, then continue down the hallway. That encounter has officially made my day.

See, 'cause as much as I love listening to him play, I have to admit that I've developed a crush on him, too. I mean, come _on_, he's fucking beautiful and I'll bet he's really nice if you get to know him. _And_ he plays piano. Yeah, that makes it all that much better.

Yeah, so my morning classes flew by because I was giddy over talking to Roxas. Lunch time now, and I can't say that I've ever liked lunch- everyone says this is your time to talk with your friends, but my best friend doesn't go to this school anymore. And, after Demyx left, I just kinda lost the rest of my friends, 'cause they weren't really mine, they were Dem's. I sit by myself to eat now- if the food is edible, of course. I'll draw or write for my poetry class if I get really bored, but I have mastered the art of eating slowly so it takes the whole twenty minutes to finish, so I don't usually have to worry about it.

Of course, when I don't draw or write, I stare across the room at Roxas.

Today is one of those days where the food they're serving is just so disgusting you can't even _smell_ it without throwing up. So, I'm sitting with my mp3 player in my ears, leaning back against the wall behind me. I'm humming along with the song playing with my eyes closed when someone taps my shoulder and I decide to sing out the words softly- hey, maybe they'll go away if they realize I'm busy doing nothing?

"_Well fuck them, and fuck her, and fuck him, and fuck you for not having the strength in your heart to pull through. I've had doubts, I have failed, I've fucked up, I've had plans, doesn't mean I should take my life with my own hands_…"

"Staind, right?"

He's talking to me _again???_ What is this, Make-Axel-Über-Happy Day? I look up and see Roxas standing next to me, with that ghost-smile on his face again. I nod, then try to act cool- boys like cool, right? Oh fuck, what if he's not even into other guys? "Yeah. You like?"

"They're ok. My brother listens to them, so I kinda just get pulled into hearing them," he answers. _Yes, I'm cool! Or he wouldn't be talking to me!_ He points to the seat across from me and asks, "Hey, this seat taken?"

Roxas wants to sit with me??? Why the shit would he want that- not that I'm complaining! "Uh, no, go ahead," I answer much less cool than I'd wanted it to sound. He sits and then leans against the wall with me. He pulls out his own ipod and closes his eyes while we sit in silence. After a few minutes, I try to glance at the screen to see what he's listening to, but he's got it covered with his hand. I take out one of my earphones and tap his shoulder. He looks over to me and I ask, "What're you listening to?"

He smirks, then hands me an earphone. I recognize the song immediately- he played it yesterday, the mourning song. I wonder briefly if he had recorded himself, or if this is a professional pianist. I nod, like _yeah, it's cool_, and hand it back to him. "I'm trying to find where I messed up," he explains. That was his playing?

I guess this is where I play dumb and act like I don't know that he plays. "You play?"

"Yeah, piano," Roxas says; I can just barely catch an embarrassed tone in his voice.

I smile at him as best I can. "That's cool."

He smiles back and I feel like floating. "You're the first person other than my mother that's said something nice about it. No one else seems to think that piano _is_ a 'cool' instrument to play."

I blink. How can they think that piano isn't cool if Roxas plays it? "Who does 'no one else' pertain to?"

"Like, my friends, over at my old table. They don't like it 'cause it takes an hour out of our 'hang-out time' after school," Roxas says, pointing over to a filled table across the room.

I shake my head. "That's not right, you know. Have they ever even heard you?"

"No." He looks embarrassed again. "I'm not really that good, anyway. It's just a hobby." Modest much??? "I don't really like anyone listening, 'cause they wouldn't understand how calming it is."

I just shrug at him. "Some people might; you just haven't asked the right people yet." The bell rings and I stand up, leaving Roxas sitting at the table still as I go to my next class.

He walks fast, 'cause he's soon walking next to me, asking me quickly, "Hey, I never got your name, what is it?"

Oh wow, I get to be on first-name basis with him? YAY!!! "Axel, got it memorized?"

He scoffs a little, and then tells me his name. Like I really need to know; but, he thinks we only just met today, so I humor him and say in my cool voice, "See you later, then, Roxas," and then head into my Math B class.

Yes, today is a very good day so far.

* * *

After a fight with my locker, trying to get it open, I walk to the sophomore hallway. Roxas'll be there, so why not? I mean; if we're acquaintances, surely I can go see him after school, right? Oh, fuck, what if I'm not supposed to? What if it's too fast? 

I almost turn around and leave the school, but then I remember that I have math homework. _Shit-fuck_. It's a graded assignment, too, so I've gotta get it done. Great, what're the chances of this happening? I walk the rest of the way through the sophomore hallway, acting as cool as I can. If anyone stops me, I'm a junior, and I'll just tell them to piss off.

"Hey, wait, Axel!"

He remembered my name? Wow. I turn around and see Roxas waving me over to his group. I sigh- it sucks having a crush. They've usually got you wrapped around their finger if they know you. I stand next to him and smile a bit. _Please don't be fake around your friends…_ "Hi, Roxas."

"Who's the freak, Rox?" Another blonde says. I don't know his name, but I already don't like him.

"Shut up, Hayner," Roxas says, coming to my defense. Yep, he is nice. I'm right.

"Cool tattoos, though," the girl says, like, _yeah, you're a freak, but those are cool_. I don't know if that's a compliment or not, but I'll take it as one.

"Thanks," I say.

"Axel, I was wondering, if you're not doing anything, you wanna join us for ice cream?" Roxas says to me.

"Don't you play after school?"

He shrugs.

"Roxas hasn't come with us for Wednesday ice cream in a month, so he said he'd come with us," another guy (that _really _shouldn't have ice cream at all) says.

"Well, I don't wanna interrupt with your friend-time, Roxas," I say, completely sincere. He kinda hangs his head a little, like he thinks that's a "no." I continue, though, to make it sound like an it's-not-you-it's-me thing. "And I don't have any money for ice cream."

He perks up a bit and smiles at me. "I'll pay, if you want," he offers.

I shake my head a bit while smirking. "Yeah, ok, but then I'll have to pay you back and I don't get paid for another week."

"That's fine," he says and Hayner and the other guy lead the way with the girl close behind them. Roxas stays next to me and I wonder if I'm going to faint from the excitement. He looks like he wants to ask me something, but he doesn't.

I caught the names of the other two on the way to PJ's, the local ice cream place. Olette and Pence. Olette's nice enough, and it's obvious that Pence has it bad for her, but she won't flirt back. I almost feel bad for the fat kid. He even holds the door open for her and she just says a quick thank-you and that's it.

After the other three got their treats, Roxas turns to me and asks, "What do you want?"

Oh, I wasn't even thinking about it. I glance at the prices and then the selections. A soft-serve baby cone is only $1.25. Sounds good to me. The lady is waiting for me, so I quickly say, "A soft vanilla, uh, baby-size. In a dish." I hate cones.

Roxas speaks up. "Make it a medium, Judy." She nods at him.

Holy shit, was Roxas nice to me right there??? I smile down at him and he smiles back. I seem to be smiling a lot lately… Judy hands me the dish and I gaze at it- and finally realize that I have had nothing to eat today. Roxas gets his chocolate cone- same size as mine- and we sit down with Hayner, Pence, and Olette.

They start to talk about their English class with Mr. Braig- Olette's complaining about the finals he assigned (he gave three things to do, and the students pick one to do and they have to turn it in by Class Day), and everyone else seems to agree with her. Roxas doesn't say anything. I want to say something, but I don't know how they'll take it. I am a year older than they are, so what are they going to do, not take my advice?

"Axel, what did you do for your final last year?" Olette asks me. All four of them look at me and I swallow the bite of ice cream I had in my mouth.

"I did the found poem on _Animal Farm_ and _I have Lived A Thousand Years_," I say.

They groan. Well, except for Roxas. He looks interested. "How'd you do that? I don't see how they could fit together at all."

I'm about to answer when the door opens and Luxord, Marluxia, and Larxene walk in. They take a quick look at me and then come over here. "Well, pyro, it's been awhile, hasn't it?" Larxene says, poking my shoulder.

"Go away." Damn, I hate them...

"Now, that's not nice," Luxord says. "I thought we were friends before, hmm? But, now I see, you're into underclassmen."

"He said to go away," Hayner seethes. Whoa, wasn't expecting _that_. I sink a little lower into my chair, waiting for them to leave. Olette and Pence nod, angry looks on their faces. Why are they angry?

Roxas…

I look over at him and he's having a staring contest with Marluxia. Marluxia looks like a predator, and Roxas is just sitting there- he looks like he's going to start crying. I reach under the table (he's sitting right next to me) and grab his hand. He's shaking- with anger or fear, I don't know. Still, I give him an assuring squeeze before letting his hand drop back down. He looks away from pink-prick, to me, and he's got this questioning look on his face.

I stand up. "Look, get your food, and stay out of our hair. We won't bother you if you don't bother us, okay?" I say to Luxord.

He leans in to me and whispers: "Fine. BPL, though, tomorrow, after school, and we'll settle everything, got it?"

I nod, sitting back down next to Roxas. I reach back under the table to take his hand; this time, though, _he_ takes _my_ hand and holds it in a death-grip. The four of them go back to talking about school and such, but Roxas doesn't let go of my hand. If it were under any other circumstances, I think I'd be giddy, but right now, I'm just thinking.

What did pink-prick do to Roxas to get him so upset?

* * *

I go through the next morning same as before- without running into Roxas, though. Lunch comes around and I skip again- meatball subs? I think not- you can't tell what they put in that meat. Probably toenails or slugs or something else that I don't like to think of anyone else here eating. 

Well, except for my old "friends." They could eat fuck slime and I wouldn't care.

I'm sitting at my old table, ignoring my stomach telling me to go and eat something, when Roxas comes and sits across from me again. I'm not thinking about acting "cool" right now; I just want to get through the day and beat Luxord up at BPL later.

"Hey, about yesterday?" Roxas starts.

"Yeah?

"Thanks." I look over at him; he's got an earbud in but he's looking straight at me. "No one's ever done that for me before, and it was really nice of you."

I shrug. "Your friends didn't see that you were stressed?"

"They see, but they don't ever do anything about it. Olette'll sometimes just ask if I'm okay, even if she knows I'm not, but that's it," Roxas explains. "Mostly they just try to get him to go away by yelling at him."

"Marluxia?"

He nods and sighs. "We were going out, last year."

_Oh, really? _So, he _is_ into guys, huh? "What happened?"

"I caught him cheating on me."

"Oh."

"And he tried getting into my pants while he was drunk."

I scoff. "Fucker…"

"Yeah, I broke up with him after that." He sighs again. "It's in the past, but I can't help freezing up whenever he's around, ya know? He just scares me."

He leans back against the wall in that totally cool Roxas way and listens to his music with his head down. Now, I really can't wait to get to the parking lot. If they really think they can fuck with Roxas' head when I'm around, they've got another thing coming, 'cause I think I can call Roxas my friend now.

And I will not stand to see my friend scared.

Especially when said friend is also my current crush.

The bell rings and I stand, Roxas close behind. We walk up the stairs, following the crowd. I decide to follow him to his class- well, not _follow_, more like… walk with him. He slows down at the Biology room, which must be his next class. He turns to me and says, "I'll see you later, then?"

I nod and continue down the hallway to my class. When I turn back before going down the math hall, though, he's still outside the room, looking around. Huh. I don't hang around to watch, 'cause the bell starts to ring, so I have to run the rest of the way to class. I just make it as the bell stops ringing.

* * *

As the final bell rings, I think I consider not going to BPL, as Roxas'll probably be playing and I don't want to miss it. I didn't get the assignment from yesterday done, and I got an extension because of my awesome excuse-making skills. But, it's due tomorrow, so I've _really_ got to finish it. And, that means that I've got to sit outside Roxas' practice room for however long it takes- or until three-fifty-five. 

Which means I shouldn't go beat Luxord up.

But the asswipe deserves to be beat bloody into the ground.

So, I have quite a problem.

I throw the books I don't need in my locker, then proceed to the sophomore hallway again. I don't know why I'm going, but I will see Roxas once more today if it kills me.

Which, apparently, it might.

"Pyro! Where're you going!" I turn around, seeing Larxene calling for me at the end of the hall. "BPL's the other way; I thought you knew!" She walks up to me and pushes me out the door next to us. I catch Roxas eyeing me, obviously wondering why I'm letting myself be pushed around by her.

Honestly, I don't know myself.

She leads the way around the school to the bank. I follow, even though there's no way that she'd catch me if I ran away. I know I'm faster than she is, but I'm still following. When we get to the bank parking lot, I see that we've got quite an audience- none of which are here to cheer me on, I know. Larxene throws me in the center of the circle, near Luxord- I drop my bag outside the circle. I almost trip over my feet, but the punch that the blonde throws at me gets me aware of the situation, and I catch myself while dodging the attack.

He, however, flies past me; he had put his whole body into that punch, probably thinking that one shot would bring me down... which, it might've, if it had hit. I slam my elbow down on his back as he passes me, throwing him to the ground. He groans, but gets up as I step back a little. I hear him scoff, then he charges at me. I stand my ground and meet him when he gets here, grunting as I flip him over my back.

A loud thud tells me he landed behind me, so I quickly step forward in case he decides to grab at my legs. The crowd is silent, and I turn around to see the damage I'd caused by just throwing him onto the pavement. Luxord hasn't gotten up yet, and there's blood around his head. Oh, shit. If I just killed him, I think I'll faint.

Oh, good; he's stirring a bit. Larxene is kneeling next to him, asking him if he's alright. Luxord sits up, leaning heavily on his elbows. The back of his head is all red, and Larxene is checking his eyes for a concussion. Then I notice that he's not here.

Marluxia.

I stride up to Luxord and Larxene, stopping just before them. "Hey, is this settled now?" They look at me and nod. "Where's Marluxia?" They shrug. I leave the circle (everyone's gasping at me, huh, I wonder why?), grab my bag, then run back into the school. I go the same way I had come out, thinking that maybe Roxas would still be in the sophomore hallway. I have my doubts, but still; there's always that possibility.

Yes, I'm worried about Roxas. If Marluxia tried getting in his pants once, it's likely that he'll try again. Drunk or not. And, if Marluxia isn't with Luxord or Larxene, he could very well be terrorizing Roxas right now.

So, I open the door into the school, looking frantically both ways before going down to the music hallway. I stop at the room where Roxas usually plays- and yes! There's music coming from the other side. I sigh, knowing he's safe... ish. I don't know if Pink-prick is in there with him. I decide to steal a peak through the window in the door, to see if he's okay.

I'm guessing he's not just by listening; it's not he mourning song, but it gives a vibe of nervousness, anxiety… depression. Worry, I guess, too. I look in, seeing him slumped over the piano, his hands playing softly, half-heartedly. There's no music out, so he must be making this up as he goes along. As sad as it is, it's really a nice song.

I knock on the door and that stops his playing. He perks his head up, then looks over here and I meet his eyes. He stands and comes over, unlocking the door and smiling at me slightly. Then the smile fades and he's got some kind of anger glowing on his face. "Where were you after school? That Larxene girl practically dragged you out."

I sighed. "I had business to attend to. BPL, you know." I hope that he'll let it be at that.

He shakes his head. "You got into a fight?" So much for leaving it at that. I nod. "With who?"

"Luxord, the blonde guy from yesterday," I answer.

He nods. "Would you like to come in?" He asks, moving aside. I smile, and nod, stepping inside, then leaning on the piano. He closes the door, but leaves it unlocked, then goes to sit on the bench. He pats the seat next to him. "Come sit?" _Fuck yeah, I'm not passing up this chance to get close!!!_ I sit next to him, careful to not sit too close, even though I really wanted to touch him.

There's a weight on my shoulder, and I gasp quickly, noticing that Roxas has leaned against me. I, hesitantly, put my arm around his shoulders, pulling him closer. He started to shake a little, and I feel tears falling onto my shirt. I bite my lip, wondering why he was upset, but not saying anything.

The sobs are silent, but still there. It kills me to see him like this, but I know he's gotta get it out. One of his hands raises to clutch at my shirt while he scoots closer than before.

If he weren't crying, I think I might've died and gone to heaven.

"You know... after the thing with Marluxia, I swore myself off... relationships. But, when I'm... with you… I don't know, I just… I don't want to hurt like that, again, Axel," he says between hiccups. I sigh. This is it; now or never. How the _fuck_ am I supposed to say everything to him? He continues, much to my surprise. "When he cheated on me, that broke me completely."

"I wouldn't do that, Roxas," I blurt out.

Oh _FUCK!_ Why'd I say that? That was totally not what he needed to hear, I'm sure.

Stupid, stupid, stupid, fuck, I'm so _fucking STUPID!!!_

"I... know."

Wait, what?

"We've only known each other for a day and a half, but you've shown more care for me in this time than Marluxia ever did," he says. He wipes his eyes with one of his hands, sits up a little, my arm still on his shoulder, and looks up at me. "But, as much as I feel I can trust you, Axel, I just... I'm scared, I guess, to open my heart again."

Does this mean that my crush is _crushing back?_ I don't know; maybe I heard that wrong... eh, whatever, I gotta tell him everything now, before he keeps going.

"Roxas, I need to tell you... I've known about you for quite some time now." he looks at me weird, like he doesn't understand. I quickly intake a breath, then continue. "I've been listening to you play for almost three months; I sat right outside the door and listened to the music that _you_ made. And, after a few weeks, I think I fell in love with it... and then, I think I fell in love with you." He's got tears in his eyes again, and I don't know if they're happy tears or angry tears, but they're still there. They don't fall, so I continue. "And, damn, Roxas, I don't know how it happened, and _I don't really care_. 'Cause it happened, and that's what matters, right? Just..." I bring my hands to his waist, my eyes not leaving his. I sigh, thinking of how to word this. "Gimme a chance? You know, _fucking know_, that I'm not like that pink-haired prick. And, I'm telling you now, that I wouldn't make you cry; I'll be there for you if someone else does, though, like right now."

One of my hands leaves his waist, brushing a bit of his hair out of his face. I lean in a bit, resting my forehead on his, but I refrain from kissing him. "And if this is too fast for you," I whisper, "then just tell me and I'll back off. 'Cause I love you, Roxas, and maybe I shouldn't- you're right, we only really met a day ago- but I do, and that's not going to change. And, I know he hurt you, but I won't. Just let me have a chance to prove that I love you."

With that, I lift my head a bit, kissing his forehead lightly. And, now, I think this is the part where I find that he hates me and wants me to leave him alone forever.

I'm ready for rejection if he's going to reject me.

He doesn't push me away, but instead leans back into my arms, putting his head back on my shoulder. A few tears leave his eyes, but I brush them away, still holding him. I find myself making gentle shushing sounds for him, muttering a soft, "Don't cry, Roxas..." every so often. I could honestly stay like this forever, just having him in my arms. Minus the crying, of course; I hate to see him cry.

"I guess..." he starts, after he's calmed down a bit- it kinda startles me, it's so sudden. "I could give you a chance, Axel."

YES!!! I JUST FUCKING DIED AND WENT TO HEAVEN!!!

"But, you're not allowed to sit outside the door anymore and listen to me play."

I just got sent back to earth... _fuckballs_...

He looks up at me and smiles. "Just knock, and I'll let you in, ok?"

OH YEAH!!! BACK TO HEAVEN!!! I could, like, _sing_, I'm so happy. But, I don't. 'Cause that might freak him out. And freaking out Roxas is _not _on my to-do list.

I nod, holding him a little tighter. "Thank-you, for this chance."

"Just don't screw it up," he murmurs, turning to the piano in front of us. I let one arm fall to my side, the other stayed around his waist.

Yes, right now is perfect. I have _my_ Roxas, he's playing for me (me! _he's _playing for _me!_), and he knows that I love him.

* * *

During his hour of playing, he showed me how to play a simple tune- I forget if it was _Happy Birthday_ or something else, but it was nice, 'cause he had his hand over mine, guiding me across the keys. 

I, of course, was holding in my "SQUEE!!!" that was threatening to escape the entire time.

Now, while he is packing up, I remember _why_ I had originally come to see Roxas (other than the fact that I was worried about him and pinky meeting up).

I have math homework that I never got done.

SHIT FUCK!!!

I can't do it now. It's not like I can ask Roxas, "hey, can you do another hour so I can get my work done?" He's got his own family to get home to, so I can't hold him back any more than I already have. I'm about to break down and cry- that assignment makes me pass or fail this quarter!- when he turns to me.

"Hey, Axel, do you wanna, like, go get ice cream, or something?"

I smile at him. He's just got _something_ that makes me smile. "How about a walk around town instead?" I should go home and get Reno to help me with math, but a little walk can't hurt, right?

He nods, throwing his bag over his shoulder, and walking next to me. We exit the practice room, then he gasps. "Oh, wait!" He ducks back in, while I wait outside for him patiently. Maybe he forgot music or something? He comes back out, and there's a CD case in his hand. He smiles, then hands it to me.

"For me?" He nods. "What is it?"

"It's a recording of today. You're in poetry, right? So I just figured, maybe, you'd want to know how poetic you sounded earlier. It also has the songs that I played on it. It's all one big track, so it's hard to determine where each part is, but it's all there."

Well, that solves my homework problem. It's Roxas playing, so it'll work the same, I hope. And that means, I can go home after our outing and do the assignment. SCORE SKILLET!!!

"Oh, thanks, Roxas," I say, smiling at him. I put the CD in my bag, gently- don't wanna break it!- then take his hand and walk out of the school with him. I don't lace our fingers together, in case he thinks it's too fast, but just touching is enough anyways. We walk up and down Main Street, talking about random shit: how school is, family life, how he's planning on getting into a music college so he can be a profession pianist, that new show on t.v. that looked really cool on commercial but sucked when it premiered. Just, anything that came to mind, we said.

Then, we get to the small clothing shop at the end of the street. And, I- being gay, of course- couldn't help myself. I pulled Roxas into the store, him laughing at my antics. I start leafing through different racks of clothes, pulling a few out and holding them up to Roxas' body. He's sighing with a smile on; I know he's loving this, especially with the way he keeps trying to tell me to stop with this 'cause we can't buy anything anyways.

"That doesn't mean I can't dress you up a bit," I say. I pick up a pair of leather pants, holding them against his hips. I consider it while he blushes a bit. Then, "Nah, leather doesn't suit you," and the pants are back on the shelf.

I push him into the dressing room, with a stack of clothes, telling him to try on a few things, just to see how he looks. I don't tell him, but when I get paid next week, I'm first going to pay him back for the ice cream, then I'm buying him the clothes here that look good on him.

He comes out, dressed in not-too-tight faded blue jeans and a tight black tee with a flame graphic on the side. I can imagine that clothes do him no justice, just by seeing how _wonderful_ that shirt clings to him. I smirk, then walk around him, studying the outfit. "Different pants, definitely." I search the pile, finding a tighter pair of jeans and telling him to put it on.

Then he comes out in those tight jeans, a look of uncertainty on his face, and I can just barely sense that _my _jeans might get a little tighter if I keep looking at him. I smirk, then send him back in to get his own clothes on while I take both pairs of pants and that shirt over to the check out counter. I mutter a, "Keep these for me? I'll be back to buy them" and she nods, putting them behind the counter.

We walk out of the store hand in hand, and I think that this is the happiest I've ever been. Down the rest of Main Street we walk, Roxas commenting on my fashion sense; which, I happen to be fiendishly proud of. It's one of the few things I _know_ I'm good at, and I'm glad that my boyfriend thinks that I'm good, too.

One more thing to "SQUEE!" over, right?

"Hey, Roxas, where do you live? I'll walk you home, if you want," I offer.

"Just up the street a bit, actually," Roxas says, "I'll lead the way." I nod, letting him drag me up the street. Heh, didn't know he lived on the main road. He starts talking about his English final, and I listen to his idea for his poem intently. It's actually a good idea, but wording it would prove to be quite a challenge. Then, he slows down at a small black and white house, saying that we're here.

It's a little small for any size family, but I'm sure it'd be cozy for two. Maybe, when we get out of school, we'll live in a place like this. I walk him to the door, then turn him around when he goes to open the door, sliding my arms around his waist. He looks up at me, putting his hands on my upper arms and leaning a little into me. I let one hand leave his waist, instead finding a rest on the back of his neck, then I hold his head steady while I place a gentle kiss on his lips. No tongue, just a gossamer touch. Don't want to come off too strong, right?

Then, I let him slip into his house, keeping a lock on his eyes the entire time. He mouths a, "See you tomorrow," and I nod, letting the door close me out.

I don't know how I got back to my house, but I'm pretty sure I pretty much skipped halfway. _I kissed Roxas, I kissed Roxas, I KISSED ROXAS!!!_ And, yes, I'm _very_ happy.

* * *

I find Roxas in school the next day, waiting by my locker with a smile in his eyes. I smile back as I reach the locker, then lean down and peck him on the cheek; which he blushes at cutely. He tells me about how he got his final done last night, but he wants me to read it before he turns it in. I agree readily- it's important to him, so it's important to me. He hands me the folder his poem is in, and I tell him I'll give it back to him at lunch. 

I get my books out of my locker, close it, lock it, then reach for Roxas' hand, which finds mine quickly. I walk him to the sophomore hallway, not bothering to notice the glares I'm getting from the numerous homophobics in the school. Roxas, however, is noticing them, squeezing my hand so hard, I wouldn't be surprised if it lost circulation.

We get to his first period classroom, and I pull him aside before he goes in. I lean back against the wall behind me, bringing him closer to me by his hand, then letting my hands rest on his hips. "Roxas, are you ok with this?"

He shrugs, putting his hands on my upper arms just like yesterday. "It's just, they were, like, _glaring_ at us."

I smirk. "No way, baby, they were glaring at me. No one could glare at you, you're too beautiful," I say quietly and he blushes at my compliments. "No, they wish they were me, being seen like this with you. They're just jealous that I've got you and they don't," I murmur as I put our foreheads together lightly. His eyes close and a soft, content sigh comes from slightly parted lips. If we weren't in school, I'd kiss him, but holding him is nice just the same.

I pull back a little, glancing at my watch. We've got three minutes before the warning bell rings, so I slide down the wall, taking him with me. I bring him up next to me, putting my arm around his shoulders and letting him lean his head on my shoulder while our legs sprawled out into the middle of the hallway. I take one of his hands with my free one, laying them in our lap. I breathe in the scent of his shampoo- fruity? Huh. Interesting.

Heh, makes me want to eat him up.

For a moment, I think he fell asleep, but then the bell rings and he groans. "Nooo...! I'm comfy, don't wanna get up..." He pouts a bit, then he looks up at me. "Do I have to, Axel?"

Oh, no, he's got _puppy-dog eyes!_ How the _fuck_ do you tell off puppy-dog eyes?

I sigh. Gonna have to. "I don't wanna get up, either, but I'll see you at lunch, ok?"

He groans again. "Fine, fine." Then he stands up and I follow him up. He looks at me, then I pull him close in a hug- I don't want to let him go, but I know I have to. I let him slide out of my arms, then back up a bit down the hallway watching his disappear into his classroom with a last wave to me. I turn and head to my economics class, still trying to pinpoint what the shampoo smelled like... I'm going with a strawberry scent of some sort, but it could very well be any kind of berry.

* * *

I'm getting out of Chem lab, when I notice a tuff of blonde hair coming up the stairs to the room. He found me, wow. I walk down to the landing that he stopped on, then take his hand and walk with him. "What're doing here, and how'd you know I had lab?" 

"I can't walk my boyfriend to lunch?" he asks, innocently. I laugh softly at his innocence, then he continues. "And, I went to counseling and asked. I just told them I needed to see you before lunch about a project, and they told me."

We turn into the staircase down to the cafeteria, and I walk behind him down the stairs, keeping a hold on his hand. It's fish on a roll today- no thanks, I'll pass. Last time I saw someone get the fish (it was Demyx) the thing had fucking _scales_ on it. They're fish _sticks_, breaded and shit; there's not supposed to be scales on the fish. Even Roxas is passing on the fish; we decide wordlessly to go to the salad bar and try to find lettuce that isn't rotten.

Pinky gets in our way before we get there, and I feel Roxas tighten his grip on my hand. "Hey, pyro, what're you doing with my ex, huh?"

I don't even really think before I say: "Yeah, that's what he is, _your ex_. What I'm doing with him is not your concern, fuckball." I move in front of Roxas a bit.

"It is my concern, when I still love him, right Roxy?"

I feel Roxas put his forehead into my back and shake it back and forth furiously. "He doesn't love you, Marluxia, so just leave us alone," I say, leading Roxas forward, around Pinky. But, he puts a hand on my shoulder and grips. I gasp quietly, startled, then look at him and seethe. "_What?_"

"No one wants you two together, _Axel_. Get the fuck away from _my_ Roxas, and leave."

"Huh, that's strange, 'cause I know _I _want us together, and I'm pretty sure that Roxas doesn't mind at all, right?" I look back at him, seeing him shake his head.

"I like us, Axel," he says quietly.

I look back at Pink-prick. "See? And, he's _my_ Roxas, so _you_ get the fuck away before I fucking_ make _you! He doesn't want you here, so _fucking _LEAVE!" I keep my gaze on him until he throws his hands up and turns away, leaving back up the other stairs. I huff, then smile down at Roxas, who returns the smile. We go to the salad bar, but there's no good lettuce; so, we just get two bags of chips and milk and go to sit at our table.

This time, he sits on the same side as me, right next to me. I still lean against the wall behind me, but when I turn to the seat that he's in, he leans back against my chest and I wrap my arms around his waist while he eats his chips. Occasionally, he'll reach up and put one in my mouth. My own bag of chips sit in my bag- I'll eat it later, after school or during English or poetry.

"Hey, Axel?"

"Hmm?"

"Thanks, for before," he says. "We can make this work, right?"

"Of course, Roxas. Anything for you, ok?"

He seemed to think for a moment, then he speaks up again. "Hey, I just wanna know... what would you do if I broke up with you?"

"I'd fucking jump off a bridge. No pressure, Roxas, but a life without you is not a life I want to live," I say, no hesitation.

"And, if I wanted more than you're willing to give?"

I smirk. "Honey, you've got all of me. There's nothing I'm not willing to give to you."

He scoffs. "And if I told you to stop it with the pet names?"

"Not a chance," I laugh. He laughs, too.

"That's ok, I like 'em anyways," he says. He tilts his head back, resting on my shoulder while his hand snakes into my hair. I nuzzle his neck, breathing in his scent- strawberries, I tell you! I have one hand on his hip and the other holding his. Then he kisses my cheek, and I kiss his neck lightly. He whispers, "I think I love you, but I'm not sure yet... gimme time?" I nod quickly, then go back to getting high off of his scent.

Yes, Roxas, we _will _make this work.

* * *

Disclaimer: uh, no. fucking spork says fucking NO!!! The bunnie will own the world someday, and with it, Kingdom Hearts, but as of right now... nope. and, anything else anyone recognizes, I don't own that either... 

A/N #1: If anyone cares, it's a song-based fic (_not_ a songfic- I don't put the lyrics seprate from the story ) off of "I'll Never Break Your Heart" by Backstreet Boys.

A/N #2: IT'S FUCKING DONE!!!! eighteen fucking pages, three fucking weeks, over a hundred times of listening to Backstreet Boys (not that I complain about that!), and staying up at Ryshie's until Three O-Fucking-clock in the fucking morning writing fucking shitty ass fluff. Yes, sirree, I'm fucking done.

Zexy: Wanna say fuck again?

FUCK!!!

Zexy: I didn't mean it literally, but whatever...

Ry: FUCK!!!

See, Zexy? It's a fucking popular word!

Zexy: no, I don't see, but I don't care much.

Ry: do you ever care about anything?

Zexy: I care about Demyx.

Demyx: Awww, really!?!? I love you, too!

Ok, now that we've established that Dexion Day is less than two weeks away and Zexy cares enough about Demyx to let him top, I'm going to fucking sleep.

Ry: Yep, me too. With Axel ;)

Axel: Wait, what?

Ry: It's my birthday all weekend! Until after the 28th, you're _mine!!!_ XD It's my birthday present from Cy. And for Christmas, I get Roxas!!

Axel, Roxas: NO!!!

Oh, shut up, you like it. -yawn- I'm out.

Ry: -yawn- yeah, me too.

Don't forget to review! And flames are welcome, 'cause they'll bring Kittee back from Mansex... fucking dragon, fucking cheating on me... in a sense... uh... I'll go now... bye!


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